Community blog - have you had your nice day today?
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Anonymous2014-06-29 1:15
I went to a bunch of used bookstores today.I like to do this every summer, because college students always their sell off their used textbooks there when the uni one won't buy them, so I can buy them for cheap. Found a few interesting ones, one on topology, one on analysis, even one on stochastic statistical processes and finite element simulation. Paid about $50 in all.
I also saw the physics book I used in college. I paid $350 for the two volumes, but the version in the store had all the volumes and was selling for $20, all because it is, like, two editions old. Fucking Jews, man.
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Anonymous2014-08-22 4:49
Boko Haram is kawaii
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Anonymous2014-08-23 7:47
I've been saving up my nice days since '09.
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Anonymous2014-08-23 23:03
Gambate Anonymous!
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Anonymous2014-08-25 7:17
>>242 If you sell me 3 nice days I'll give you 230 orgasms and a fart.
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Anonymous2014-08-27 3:19
>>239,240 This may surprise you, but I invented that story.
Well then. You should write more, preferably about the cosmos.
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Anonymous2014-09-05 1:56
I went to look at a boat I want to buy today. It is 51' long and holds 500 gallons of fuel. I should be able to stay away in international waters for up to a week at a time. It only cost $45k, which means that even if I sold just the engines and radar out of it, I wouldn't lose money.
So I went to get on the boat, and it turns out that the ocean is nothing like a small boat. The owner was some old man in a wheelchair who couldn't climb up, and I couldn't figure out how to start it. He gets his `friend' to get it started and it ran nice (looks like shit though). Then the old guy takes the keys back and leaves for a doctor appointment and his `friend' (who wears only shorts, hasn't shaved in years, and lives on a sail boat that he hasn't taken out in years) tells me that he's often thought of pushing the old guy in the water and shooting him so there is no blood evidence on the dock. Fishermen are weird.
Oh, and the bank turned me down, saying it was a stupid, unnecessary purchase, and given my complete inexperience with water would get me killed before I could pay it off. Fucking Jews. I don't see why they care. I've got more than that in my account and my job provides life insurance for $250k. If I want to buy a boat and kill myself on it, then I should be able to buy a fucking boat and kill myself on it.
I'm still thinking about buying it.
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Anonymous2014-09-05 5:29
I imagine that sails make good clothes hangers.
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Anonymous2014-09-06 2:53
>>248 But wouldn't it defeat the purpose of hanging them to dry if you hang them where they get sprayed with water?
I'm at work and I'm feeling like shit, I'm on the verge of vomiting. If I leave early, they are going to cut this day from my salary, I can't afford that with all that college debt I currently have, what do I do /prog/.
Things I've tried
1. Thinking about THE SUSSMAN. did not work 2. Posting on /prog/rider. 3. Masturbate on the bathroom. provided some relief albeit temporary
A girl was very happy for her 16th birthday and has asked her boyfriend to buy her a car. He agreed. The boyfriend didn't show up at her birthday party. The girl was very sad. Then she found out that her boyfriend has died while trying to drive two cars at the same time to her party. Like this if you love your boyfriend.
How does it feel? I'll describe exactly what it felt like. I was young at the time but remembered everything. I was easily aroused, and by the time he was taking his pants off, I was getting hard. I felt like a girl, because let's face it, you're being one. It turned me on like a switch just thinking it. But, then, it got weird. When I began to kneel, with my penis waiting to be unleashed in my pants, I felt strange. "I'm about to suck a dick. It's not my penis, I'm going to taste a dick and pleasure it". I mean, it felt extremely bizarre, just knowing that I, was going to suck a dick! There's no other way to put it up. I think it was much more because I'm not gay, I do enjoy anal masturbation and get aroused by cocks, but not gay, it was just a fetish for the uncommon. Then it began. I grabbed the penis, it was extremely hard, and rubbed the foreskin a little, to feel what another guy's penis felt like. Then... It felt good, actually. I decided to put it in my mouth by sliding my lips slowly. When I placed my lips closed on the tip, that was it, no holding back now. I felt the tip and the hole and I was just about to cum by the feel.
His dick had it's helmet really wet, so I started sliding my wet lips further, until I had the helmet entirely on my mouth. God, it felt incredible. I slowly put my lips back, to taste it, to feel the cock, and I came in my pants. Cumming got me severely aroused, so I said to my self "to hell with this", I grabbed the cock and shoved it into my mouth before it touched my gag reflex. Hell, sucking a dick was the most delicious thing I've ever experienced. It was absolutely delightful. How it felt in my mouth, It was like having an incredibly warm dildo, with an unique texture I can't compare yet, but I could feel the shape of the dick inside my mouth. It feels really big in your mouth, you have every single thing in your mouth tho please it, it feels big, and hot, and that aroused me even more. With the dick in my mouth, I started to lick it, first up and down, and then in circles, while sucking it back and forward and having a grip on the base of it with my hand, never letting it go. I could taste the precum coming out, and I don't know it it was for the arousal but it tasted glorious. I then began doing a circular motion with my lips.
I then felt brutally sluttish. I wished I knew how to deep-throat (which I know now), because just thinking of having an entire, hot, delicious huge cock in my throat gets me incredibly hard and jerk off just by thinking about it. I eventually finished the guy, and he didn't tell me he was about to cum, so it got me by surprise, a delightful surprise. I felt his cock being contracted, and I stopped moving, I thought "is he about to cum? oh what the hell", and let him load of all his milk on my mouth. To be honest, it tasted extremely salty, and as mentioned in the last thread, it is highly alkaline, and my tongue felt really weird. I didn't swallow it, instead, I spat it on my hand while he sat on a couch tired, and used the cum to jerk off, and came almost 10 seconds after starting. I took my cum and rubbed his dick with it, and he didn't oppose. And that's the gist of it.
I do the club scene a lot, some say I am a good dancer. I enjoy having a few drinks, usually ale or mead, and I have been known to cause a scene now and then... Eric paused, breathing heavily. He'd never done this before and he wanted to make sure all of his best qualities were included in this email... I am a geek, to be frank, and I enjoy hacking UNIX and maintaining Open Source programs such as Felchmale^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HFetchmail and a bevy of FAQs regarding 386 sound internals and role-playing games. I've been doing this for 15 years though I've never held a job in my life. Eric wondered if this woman he had found on match.com would be impressed with his talents. He decided to put more detail into the message. I recently drove 24 hours straight, with but two stops for gasoline, from Pennsylvania to Kansas City in an effort to destroy my two arch-nemeses. I would have succeeded except that I blew a head gasket as I was about to shoot one of them from my moving car on Route 69. I am an excellent shot and love guns in general. ESR pondered for a moment, wringing out his soaked handkerchief, and continued with his typing. "So what languages do you know? I fancy myself quite an accomplished amateur linguist and know Anglo-Saxon and Old Icelandic inside and out. I often compose little riddles in them for fun and mental exercise. In fact, I'll include one for you now!" Chewing on his tongue and squinting, Eric pushed his mind into overdrive and produced a beauty of a riddle on the spot: "Windeth I / Towarde the skye I haveth an eye / But blinde am I" Pleased with his linguistic talents, undoubtedly matched by no one, Eric then asked his potential love-conquest: Can you get the answer to that? In case you can not, the correct answer is "my erect penis." I hope you enjoyed that; I do this sort of thing all the time." Eric exhaled slowly and rubbed his belly. It was growling and no doubt wanted its nightly bottle of Jägermeister. He decided to finish up the email in anticipation of the coming alcoholic stupor. Well I don't want to make this email too long -- I have a lot of responsibilities in real life to deal with. My role-playing group is coming over and we are spending the next week holed up in the forest near my home in character playing out a possible scenario from Beowulf. I need to get dressed up and I can not find my bear-claw mittens Eric wondered how to wrap up the email, something that would hook the lady on him and make her want more... I hope we can meet and have sex. Despite my cerebral palsy, I am a monster in the sack! Maybe you'll get to see for yourself, LOLOLOL! ;-)
Love,
Eric S. Raymond
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Anonymous2014-10-02 22:03
Hi! My name is Sakuya and I want to tell you a story! I joined Alice, Reimu and Marisa on their adventure to Japan! We all wanted to see what a dick looked like because we had never seen one. We heard they were very hard, so we had some pads to protect us. We all got into a small, poorly made, Japanese vehicle and started to drive downtown. We saw a weird midget and a really big faggot! It almost yelled at us, but Reimu made the car move faster. Whew, that was close! We passed by a bar full of gay men. It was very FABULOUS! After we made it to Akihabara , Reimu spotted a penis. It was very big and hard, just like our friends said. Good thing we had lots of condoms with us! The penis swarmed right at us and he penetrated our vaginas! I was sure we were done for, but then Marisa said she would go talk to the dick. "Hi there Mr. Dick. You penetrated our vaginas! Why would you do such a thing?" The prick didn't want to talk to Marisa. He raped her, and it looked like he was going to cum in her! But never fear, because Alice, Reimu and I went out to save her! We brought some condoms with us. They threw the condoms at the penis, and it started to throb. It let go of Marisa, and we all got back into the car. When I told my friends at Scarlet Devil Mansion what happened, they didn't believe me. "You're lying, Sakuya! There is no dick big enough to do that! I'll go down and see it for myself!" But that's ANOTHER story! The end.
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Anonymous2014-10-02 22:06
I must confess, /lounge/, I've been a very naughty boy. I ought not to, but I do so confess. Sometimes when it's dark in my house, and me mum and dad have gone up for the twilight and been kissed by the sandman's dust, I lock me door with a soft little click, and I crawl into my desk chair, where me laptop lay on the surface. I open it up, and I look at such lewd and naughty things. The other night, I found pictures of patchouli being rather chubbers, with big cheeks and big bulbous breasts. This gave my wee willy quite a stir, and I reached down into my dirty house-trousers and fished out the little bastard, and gave him a squeeze, and he responded nicely. I then found more-pictures of Yukari doing nasty, nasty things those gaps, and Ran and chen doing the sideways shuffle and stop! I couldn't believe me eyes, such naughty, naughty things. I am but a wee boy of 27, far too young for a wizard of my stature to be gleaning such foul, sinful knowledge! But I did~ I pulled my wee willy with most fervent muster when I came across a warm little picture of Flandere pregnant, about to do the naughty again with a big strong man. I shot gobs and gobs of gobstoppers from my winking willy, and then flip-flopped my hand lapped it from my palm like a funny fellow. I felt so dirty.
Do you ever feel dirty, /lounge/? I'm such a bad boy.
My first time anal experience was probably the worst sexual experience of my life. I have had many instances where sex wasn’t very good or that I messed things up by shooting a bit too fast. Everyone has those things happen at times. But that anal thing will haunt my memories for the rest of my life, waking me up from a dead sleep, a pale white ghost of my former self. Now, I won’t get into all the details on just how bad it was, but I will tell you that I will never EVER do anal again after this. Just the thought of it makes me cringe and want to hide myself in a closet somewhere.
First off, the first time anal was with a girl that I knew very well. We have been going out off and on for years and thought we would give it a try sometime. I wish now that we had never agreed to any of it. In fact, I wish I could go back in time and force myself not to even bring it up with her again. I can’t put into words just how horrifying it was to even attempt what we did. But I have moved forward on this subject, now haven’t I?
Anyway, to make a very long and disturbing story a bit shorter, we were sitting around watching some movies at my place when I decided I would ask her if she had done anal before. I was very interested in my first time anal experience and was kind of hoping that she had done it before so she could explain to me what to do to make it feel the best it could feel. She was very interested in what I was asking and got overly excited when I started to mention anal with her. I thought this was a very good reaction so I kept going with it.
Now, I won’t go into great detail here but her idea for my first time anal wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. In fact, if I had known what her idea was before it happened we probably wouldn’t have discussed it any further. Needless to say, my first time will be my last and there is no way in hell I will EVER trust another girl behind me with anything that even resembles a strap on or dildo of any kind and that does include fruit and veggies too!
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Anonymous2015-03-23 9:41
>>270-272 My goodness, I didn't read these when they were posted. Thank's >>278-kun.
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Anonymous2015-03-23 19:07
>>278 Is this kopipe? Even if it is, the author is a retard. You're supposed to fuck her doubly as hard as she fucked you to assert dominance. Crying and saying you were raped shows you weren't a man from the very beginning.