Post little thoughts, jokes, news, etc. that don't necessarily warrant having their own thread.
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Anonymous2018-09-02 19:10
HAX MY ANUS!!!!
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Anonymous2018-09-02 20:42
listen to cloud rap a.k.a. trillwave (it's a real subgenre) hosted in the cloud while you work on your AWS EC2 instance... in the cloud https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1h38Z5raIg and the weather is cloudy out
computin' in the
cloud l o u d
while puffin' on dat
loud o u d
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Anonymous2018-09-02 20:48
me, now, sitting in front of a screen: I sure miss the past me, 10 years ago: look at me sitting in front of a screen
modern nostalgia makes no sense
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Anonymous2018-09-02 22:02
Indian programming tutorials on Youtube. Not just regular beginner ones, but for complicated or uncommon things. They talk very slowly and with a heavy accent, and you can hear car horns and traffic in the background, but it's a very obscure tech topic and they're the only resource you can find for it.
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Anonymous2018-09-02 22:07
*fart*
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Anonymous2018-09-02 22:11
>>4 do you sit in front of a screen 24/7 or something?
hosted in the cloud while you work on your AWS EC2 instance
What?
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Anonymous2018-09-02 22:46
>>7 no, but I'm starting to dislike programming because of how far-removed it is from nature
>>8 the video I linked to features music from a genre called ``cloud rap''
the video I linked to is on youtube, which I guess you could say is in the cloud (it's a stretch, but it's for a joke, but it's not funny when you have to explain it)
Ever heard of SIM swapping? Two factor authentication sounds good in theory but people are using social engineering of wireless providers to get access to people's accounts by getting the phone company to give them someone else's phone number. So then they get the codes for logging in or resetting a password. This is why authenticator app authentication is superior.
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Anonymous2018-09-03 23:30
โWhat are you doing?โ, asked Minsky.
โI am teaching a man to fish,โ Sussman replied.
โWhy?โ, asked Minsky.
โIf you can't tune filesystem, you have to tuna fishโ, Sussman said.
Minsky then doused him in lighter fluid and lit him on fire.
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.
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Anonymous2018-09-03 23:35
>>15 MIT is so enlightened now that they replaced Lisp with Python for their introductory CS courses.
Do you think the web will ever become obsolete? As in, maybe something else will replace it, or people will just use apps instead. Maybe the worsening performance and slow/transactional nature of the web will put people off, and it also just seems like there's a lot of stuff that simply isn't possible (or at least very difficult to achieve) through web technologies that are better suited to other languages. Slow 2D documents... will they ever lose their appeal, or are we going to accept this kind of thing 10-20 years down the road?
the .co TLD is only good for typosquatting of .com domains
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Anonymous2018-09-06 11:24
Out of honesty and clarity, the root user on UNIX-like systems should obviously be renamed stalin.
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Anonymous2018-09-06 12:32
s/stalin/nikita;
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Anonymous2018-09-06 12:37
Java is the epitome of conservativeness in programming: clunky, burdened by obsolete "features" that were never good, too slow do adopt important features that others already benefit from, preferred by low skill workers from the east, disliked by the skilled and smart, guilty of enabling horrible atrocities, but also way more popular than it should be allowed to be and found all over the world.
but >>27 is an anus too, java isn't a preferred language for anyone anymore. it's a boring language for maintaining big enterprise shit, and everything else is just the momentum it built up in previous years.
On the topic of Java, I have a lot of experience making desktop Java software. How hard would it be to make Android apps in Java? I downloaded Android Studio but I've never really used it before.
Any recommendations for resources for learning Android app development through Java? Can you even still submit Java apps to Google Play, or is it Kotlin-only now?
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Anonymous2018-09-06 13:28
>>34 you just need to learn about the UI system (which is easy) and about the IPC (which is retarded). the rest should be familiar
Is it anything like JavaFX? I use that for desktop apps.
IPC
The what?
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Anonymous2018-09-06 13:44
>>36 UI is a bit like JavaFX, a bit simpler I think. it has XMLs and a visual builder. I didn't do much with it, but what I did was pretty intuitive.
IPC is inter-process communication. basically, a lot of the things in Android is done by sending 'intents' to other processes, and by receiving them. they're all about stuffing things in some kind of badly typed variadic data structure, and then manually extracting them. so imagine Java with zero type-safety. well, some things have a bit of type-safety because of automatically-generated wrapper code (basically you specify the interface in their're are 'AIDL' format and it does the dirty work for you), but don't rely on it, that's used just for one specific thing ('bound services'). everything else must do shit the hard way.
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Anonymous2018-09-06 14:01
>>37 Hmmm, interesting. Are there any books or tutorials you'd recommend for learning Android development?
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Anonymous2018-09-06 21:00
if you did SSH tunneling on a quantum computer, could you call it quantum tunneling? huehue
>>41 How is this an antipattern? I do agree than it's an overengineered hack compared to Seshrup's properties, but it's mostly a matter of syntax and brevity.
>>38 not really, I mostly learned by experimentation. I'm more interested in Android security, that's why I know a lot about IPC (believe me, I haven't even scratched the surface of this topic here)
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Anonymous2018-09-07 8:44
3 reasons to hate java 1.Slow both in startup(JVM startup) and execution. 2.Owned by Oracle and their draconian copyright lawyers.(Btw thats why Google had to redesign all of Android runtime) 3.Convoluted language that wastes memory.
>>44 ackchyually, execution time is pretty good. maybe best of all GC'd languages
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Anonymous2018-09-07 8:54
>>46 The only GC'd languages allowed on my machine are rarely run scripts, mainly build scripts and bash utilities. Having a software stack running on GC is luxury for 64GB ram machines.
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Anonymous2018-09-07 8:57
>>47 your're are browser runs GC'd code even as you browse this board
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Anonymous2018-09-07 9:08
>>48 1.Js isn't a program(that would be running Node.js apps), its a feature inside the browser program to script media content. Like a game having a GC'd script, but running a language that doesn't GC. 2.I disable javascript on every site where its possible.
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Anonymous2018-09-07 11:17
impl<A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z, AA, AB, AC, AD, AE, AF, SA, SB, SC, SD, SE, SF, SG, SH, SI, SJ, SK, SL, SM, SN, SO, SP, SQ, SR, SS, ST, SU, SV, SW, SX, SY, SZ, SAA, SAB, SAC, SAD, SAE, SAF> AsExpression<Record<(SA, SB, SC, SD, SE, SF, SG, SH, SI, SJ, SK, SL, SM, SN, SO, SP, SQ, SR, SS, ST, SU, SV, SW, SX, SY, SZ, SAA, SAB, SAC, SAD, SAE, SAF)>> for (A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z, AA, AB, AC, AD, AE, AF) where A: AsExpression<SA>, B: AsExpression<SB>, C: AsExpression<SC>, D: AsExpression<SD>, E: AsExpression<SE>, F: AsExpression<SF>, G: AsExpression<SG>, H: AsExpression<SH>, I: AsExpression<SI>, J: AsExpression<SJ>, K: AsExpression<SK>, L: AsExpression<SL>, M: AsExpression<SM>, N: AsExpression<SN>, O: AsExpression<SO>, P: AsExpression<SP>, Q: AsExpression<SQ>, R: AsExpression<SR>, S: AsExpression<SS>, T: AsExpression<ST>, U: AsExpression<SU>, V: AsExpression<SV>, W: AsExpression<SW>, X: AsExpression<SX>, Y: AsExpression<SY>, Z: AsExpression<SZ>, AA: AsExpression<SAA>, AB: AsExpression<SAB>, AC: AsExpression<SAC>, AD: AsExpression<SAD>, AE: AsExpression<SAE>, AF: AsExpression<SAF>, PgTuple<(A::Expression, B::Expression, C::Expression, D::Expression, E::Expression, F::Expression, G::Expression, H::Expression, I::Expression, J::Expression, K::Expression, L::Expression, M::Expression, N::Expression, O::Expression, P::Expression, Q::Expression, R::Expression, S::Expression, T::Expression, U::Expression, V::Expression, W::Expression, X::Expression, Y::Expression, Z::Expression, AA::Expression, AB::Expression, AC::Expression, AD::Expression, AE::Expression, AF::Expression)>: Expression<SqlType = Record<(SA, SB, SC, SD, SE, SF, SG, SH, SI, SJ, SK, SL, SM, SN, SO, SP, SQ, SR, SS, ST, SU, SV, SW, SX, SY, SZ, SAA, SAB, SAC, SAD, SAE, SAF)>>,
>>51 More like the new Java. Haskell is all about type inference.
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Anonymous2018-09-07 14:30
>>52 That's just generics and typeclasses, Rust also has type inference.
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Anonymous2018-09-08 0:16
>>46 Probably true, but this seems like a result of the massive $$$ spent developing the Java Virtual Machine. Most of the optimization techniques perfected in the JVM can be ported to other dynamic and JIT compiled languages, so eventually the performance gap will shrink and Java can be cast into the trash where it belongs.
your freetard functional language will never create the economic impetus for this to happen. thus the optimizations will live and die in the JVM, because trillions of dollars depend on the JVM and its continued performance. hundreds of people are paid full time to work on the JVM, so it will always be a step ahead of any copycats. the only thing depends on Your Pet Bullshit Freetard-lang is some abandoned github repos that do hello world.
Big companies can always pay developers to work on open-source compilers and runtimes when it suits their business strategy. Look at LLVM for example.
GNU might have a problem since the license is pretty much commercial kryptonite. But free (as in BSD) language implementations will do fine.
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Anonymous2018-09-08 3:01
>>56 A wise man once told me, BSD is only useful for proprietary appliances.
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Anonymous2018-09-08 7:41
>>54 well, I guess most statically typed interpreted/byte-compiled languages can be made as fast as Java. it's just that none of them are. I think that none of the functional languages comes close unless actually compiled down to native code. IIRC native-compiled OCaml can be faster than Java
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Anonymous2018-09-08 15:07
If I want to use graphics cards for doing math (GPGPU shit), what should I learn to do that? OpenCL or something?
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Anonymous2018-09-08 15:54
Big tech companies are getting more powerful than governments. I didn't like Alex Jones, but I think it's eerie how so many tech companies are seemingly in bed together because they all agreed to deplatform him at around the same time.
We are increasingly dependent on technology, and when tech companies deplatform you when they dislike your beliefs, that's a problem.
>>63 Oh bullshit. This shit is accepted as standard nowadays. Try being a college student and not using social media or modern tech. Normies use social media. Normies use phones. Normies share files through Dropbox or Google Drive. If you get autistic about open source and private shit, that's social suicide. Seriously. Yes, this sucks, but that's how it is nowadays.
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Anonymous2018-09-08 16:56
Freetard logic: whenever FOSS doesn't have a feature or service or social media platform, just say you don't need it at all! [rationalization intensifies]
>>59 OpenCL works on nvidia and AMD, CUDA only works on nvidia cards. You can also use Vulkan compute on both. I've done that once because the OpenCL driver was fucked, worked pretty well.
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Anonymous2018-09-08 20:14
I told someone about a security issue with their website, they told me it wasn't a problem, and like a month later and the site is still vulnerable
Animals are like portable software that contains all dependencies. Like containers, such as Docker. They don't need clothes, kitchens, houses, or tools. They already come with everything they need. But people? We're like packages in a Linux distro repository. We have multiple dependencies and sometimes there can be complications when we have the wrong versions, or can't access something (such as shelter or healthcare).
>>68,70 just hack it, and when he runs back to tell you that 'someone' hacked him, tell him that you warned him
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Anonymous2018-09-10 22:04
The chad international programming language standardization committee chairman vs the virgin dabbling amateur language geek who has to write an implementation by himself.
Is there any point to Haskell except stroking your ego by pretending you're doing math?
I have spent like 8 months learning it and haven't done anything useful with it at all. What a waste. I'm cutting my losses right now before I waste more time diving into all the extensions and shit. I'm fucking done.
I think the reason I didn't make anything with it is the same reason no one else makes anything with it. It's faux-math bullshite. Making programs is a practical endeavor. Programming is engineering, not masturbatory dreaming about types. It also attracts and fosters a perfection seeking mindset. You get so obsessed with "correctness" that you accomplish Nothing.
The biggest software project written in Haskell will always be Haskell. It has as much of a future as Symta does.
I get why people get into Haskell. They want to feel smart. Next time I'll just read an actual math book. It'd be far more useful.
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Anonymous2018-09-14 6:21
>>87 there are a few interesting haskal projects: from unixy stuff like shellcheck or xmonad to some super secret quant shit. but I guess most of that could be more easily written in something like ocaml. haskal is a dead dog because it will never be a practical functional language like ocaml, f# or even clojure and it is past its prime as an academic wankery language, having been replaced by the likes of idris. also ples type check my dubs
What is the best distro for a VPS that is secure out of the box? Is CentOS okay? Do you have to set anything up or change the default settings or is it good to go with defaults (aside from changing passwords)?
hello im fairX the haxxor join my community of hackers if you payme enough i will give you access to a private area of haxx ;)
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Anonymous2018-09-16 8:23
i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
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Anonymous2018-09-16 17:17
What's a software engineer's favorite dessert? a push pop Edited on 16/09/2018 17:18.
What's a software engineer's favorite desert?
What's a software engineer's favorite dessert?
a push pop
>>104 a candy thing, it was a pun about data structures (you can push or pop with a stack) not funny when you have to explain the joke >>105 incorrect, urban dictionary "definitions" always make non-sexual things into something sexual, what a stupid site Here is what they actually are: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Push_Pop#/media/File:Push_pops_(candy).jpg
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Anonymous2018-09-17 2:24
Modern apps: A: What the fuck, someone made that into an app? And they made money from it? Shit, I could've done it. I bet I'm a better developer than they are. B: Yeah, but you didn't. Instead, you obsessed over type systems and editors and config files. While they were thinking about societal problems to solve (and monetize), you were arguing about programming languages on forums. You're a programmer's programmer, but the successful ones are the ones who break out of tech bubbles and make changes in the real world.
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Anonymous2018-09-17 21:09
"GRUNNUR"
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Anonymous2018-09-18 6:15
thinking about compiler metadata and its role in malware analysis
>>130 Its a two part picture, one is a lion being restrained with its head obscured by a plate with a hole(labeled Backend), the other is a plate with a hole and "Metro Goldwin meyer" lion picture(labeled Frontend). It seems to be a humorous observations that back-end software is very different from the polished front-end experience.
I have seen many boards, but this one really has the highest quality discussion of dubs.
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Anonymous2018-09-21 11:27
>>133 it's actually amateur hour compared to dubs-related discussions on the old progrider. I think progrider threads have been imported here so try looking for the one about dubs theory and dubsless primes.
you've heard of programming music, but have you heard of programming food?
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Anonymous2018-09-23 2:41
most programming is lame but learning infosec and computer science at the same time is awesome because you learn about categories of vulnerabilities and then you can write your own security tools/exploits instead of being some drone who only knows how to run tools other people made
i am feeling happy for the first time in a long time Edited on 23/09/2018 02:41.
most programming is lame but learning infosec and computer science at the same time is awesome because you learn about categories of exploits and then you can write your own security tools instead of being some drone who only knows how to run tools other people made
most programming is lame but learning infosec and computer science at the same time is awesome because you learn about categories of vulnerabilities and then you can write your own security tools/exploits instead of being some drone who only knows how to run tools other people made
i am feeling happy for the first time in a long time
What tech-related thing are you learning about right now? I'm currently learning about port scanning with nmap. It has a scripting engine that uses lua. Have any of you ever programmed in lua? What's it like? I am mostly familiar with Java but I've used some other languages too.
>>142,145 oh, I thought I'm the only security anon here. I'm writing software that automatically reverse engineers some Android IPC stuff so I can do automated fuzzing of closed-source vendor bloatware
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Anonymous2018-10-06 16:46
I feel like, if a device is so fragile that it crashes when you run an nmap scan with the aggressive flag, that's not the problem with the port scanner, that's a problem with the device or software being an unreliable piece of shit
don't blame pen testers when your garbage barely runs and can't handle a simple port scan
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Anonymous2018-10-06 16:50
I'm the Terry Davis of hacking
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Anonymous2018-10-06 17:03
God is root and we are regular user accounts. How can we achieve spiritual privilege escalation? Can we do rm -rf --no-preserve-root / on the universe?
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Anonymous2018-10-06 18:12
>>151 You need to achieve satori then you escape chroot jail
>>167 depending on what code the function has, it will have readability issues as he says. compilers will inline it anyway
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Anonymous2018-10-18 23:59
>>165 so you can write enterprise unit tests for it.
thereโs no point, and Iโd argue that it hurts the comprehensability of your code. you have to come up with a name for this chunk of code, indirecting readers to another section of the codebase, for basically no reason.
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Anonymous2018-10-19 1:06
the virgin debugger vs. the chad 5,000 print statements
>>171 Nikita, what do you do for a living? Just wondering.
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Anonymous2018-10-19 3:59
Wow, nikita actually started programming again! This is great.
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Anonymous2018-10-19 4:45
Make Nikita Symta again.
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Anonymous2018-10-19 17:22
This NPC ``maymay'' is pretty terrible. What's worse is that people send me images like this: https://i.imgur.com/aPaBYCt.png
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Anonymous2018-10-19 21:03
>>175 Yeah, that's some cringy pseudo-programming.
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Anonymous2018-10-19 21:50
Does Java get rid of stuff in RAM after you close a program?
Like let's say you have a program that stores, I don't know, login credentials, or decryption keys, or an API key in RAM. Do you have to manually delete or write over that in order to make it safe, or will the JVM handle that?
Anybody know about memory forensics? Like if a program has some secure/sensitive credential data in RAM, can you then use some sort of tool to retrieve that data?
I remember someone saying this one kind of ransomware left the keys in RAM after it generated them, so you didn't need to pay the ransom, and instead all you had to do was some memory forensics stuff to find the keys which didn't get removed from RAM.
you've heard of off-by-one errors, but have you ever heard of an off-by-slash error? https://twitter.com/x0rz/status/1052899891624710145 basically allows for path traversal because of a shitty alias in a boomer tier web server that is unfortunately widely used
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Anonymous2018-10-20 21:30
>>179 Funny, you remember me I have to change: location /dir/ { alias /path/dir/; } to location /dir { alias /path/dir/; } Otherwise an url without the trailing slash gives a 404. Just did it and I can't exploit that off-by-slash. If I try to got to http://host/dir/../somefiles I'm routed to http://host
>>179-180 But it's a feature! brb migrating to another web server
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Anonymous2018-10-20 23:41
>>182 I can't reproduce that "feature". I'm not migrating to another web server now that I've built that nginx.conf-fu.
There's a lot of things that I don't do upstream anymore, I let nginx manage that, it's faster. I'm more and more like those chinese who build their whole apps in nginx.
>>181 only if not shipping counts as preventing bugs
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Anonymous2018-10-21 2:32
>>184 Yeah, it would not ship because people interested in dependent types are smart enough to realise the issues of http and to refuse to make a server for it.
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Anonymous2018-10-21 12:15
>>185 I don't think people interested in hypothetical stuff like dependent types are interested in real-world programming
You can install and use Coq right now though. Does not seem too hypothetical to me.
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Anonymous2018-10-22 1:00
>>187 suck my coq nobody in the real world uses that
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Anonymous2018-10-22 6:45
depend on the type of my anus!
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Anonymous2018-10-26 21:30
How do I into functional programming? Is it even worth it? Figured it mite b cool just for side projects. I'm coming from a mainly Java and webdev background so I'm more used to OOP.
>>190 Start by learning untyped lambda calculus and getting familiar with recursion - Scheme + SICP is a good language for this. Afterwards move to Haskell. Yes, it is worth it. You will obtain a new programming worldview, make safer programs, and parallelise them more easily.
There is no real benefit to learning any of these functional abstracte bullshittery languages. The only reason they give to learn them is just as abstracte as the languages themselves ("You will obtain a new programming worldview"). Bitch please. How about learning C++ instead. You'd be able to write games and high performance applications--that's way more compelling of a reason.
>>196 I know it well enough to know that I don't want to do any serious projects. Pointers suck ass. Manual memory management sucks ass too. I'd rather use Python or Java.
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