goto, uh, finds a way

so I've been reviewing some ENTERPRISE-quality Java code and I noticed something ancient, something that came from a different world - the world of assembly, of FORTRAN, of embedded C. it's the dreaded goto which would make DickStar shit himself in fear.

b-but Java doesn't have goto

you'd say, ignorantly. and you'll be wrong. language abstractions, just like society and morality, are merely human constructs. you can't chain the true nature of programming with them as behind the curtain, it's goto all the way down. this time, the terrible power of goto was freed with help of the forbidden techniques previously used only by the disciples of C pre-processor and their terrible leader, FrozenAnus. BEHOLD:

do{
int haxation = this.hax(myAnus);
if(haxation > EnterpriseConstants.HAX_MAX) break;
this.haxMoreAnuses();
}while(false);
this.stopHaxing();;

do{}while(0); makes Java the ,,acceptable C``

>>1

b-but Java doesn't have goto

Who are you quoting? Aside from that, very nice. More of this, please.

>>3

Who are you quoting?

The audience.

>>3
see >>1

b-but Java doesn't have goto

you'd say, ignorantly

clearly, it's a hypothetical unspecified listener: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generic_you

funny thing is that this isn't even necessary:
public class WhoAreYouQuoting
{
public static void main(String[] args)
{
boolean tsk = false;
nigger: {
if(!tsk) break nigger;
System.out.print("Don't ");
}
System.out.println("HAX MY ANUS!");
}
}
will output "HAX MY ANUS!"

>>4
I didn't know /prog/ held theatrical productions. I'll be sure to give my thanks to the director.

>>7
you're welcome!

>>7
/prog/ also does musical theatre. the ass-sniffing thread is a call-and-response song

there's figuratively nothing wrong with using goto

>>10
my dubs agree with you. goto has its uses, and the problem is not with the statement itself but with its misuse. you can write unreadable code in structured languages too

goto doesn't find a way. It just jumps to the fucking label, dig. just like break and continue

>>12
break label; is also useful

port comefrom to Java

>>14
It doesn't have goto in the first place

>>15
it has a limited form of one, as shown in this thread

>>14
port comeinside to my anus

>>16
I'm not convinced.

goto is fine. Just don't use it shitty. Basically the same rules as every other programming language feature.

the ENTERPRISE pleasure of being comefrom inside.

>>16
I looked, and I don't see how that's goto.

>>21
then what is it? besides my dubs?

>>22

besides my dubs

Back to 4chan, please.

while (true) {
switch (shit){
case "something":
/* */
break;

case "somethingelse":
/* */
break;

case "anus":
shit = "something";
continue;
break;

}
break;
}

>>23
dubs theory (like dubsless primes theorem) and dubs practice (like dub checking) are ancient /prague/ tradition, /g/ro

>>23
welcome to

, enjoy your stay

>>25
They are not. Fuck all the way off.

>>27
/polecat kebags/ already