Programming Languages

http://thequickword.wordpress.com/2014/02/16/james-irys-history-of-programming-languages-illustrated-with-pictures-and-large-fonts/

Back to reddit, I go!

too bad we can't add nikita and symta

When I was young we used to spam this instead: http://www.lib.ru/ANEKDOTY/quiche.txt
Bask in the glorious light of outdatedness.

>>3

o Real Programmers don't write in LISP.
Only idiots' programs contain more parenthesis than actual code.

Fight me, nigger.

If programming languages were weapons you could bring to a fight, which one would be the most lethal?

LISP could be an infinite collection of metal parenthesis with sharpened tips, to be used like throwing knives or ninja stars.

Javascript would be a frozen turd.

C++ would be a jack hammer with a steak knife duct taped to the end of it.

>>7

C++ is a gun but you can only shoot yourself in the foot with it.

>>8
Oh yeah? Well have load of this!

* repeatedly shoots self in the foot *

>>5
Haskell would be one of those giant anime swords that are larger than you are, and then you'd say to people ``No, I don't actually swing it, that would be dangerous and I might cut my fingers off or something.'' Instead, you just anchor the sword in a position that's mathematically provable to be most beneficial to you during battle, and everybody somehow impales themselves on it while trying to get at you.

>>10
Then you wake up when someone kicks the cardboard box you live in, wishing you had learnt a programming language that was actually useful.

Scheme is a retarded looking snake whose only attack is an attempt to eat its own tail. It stares into your soul as it eats itself. Anyone who witnesses this act achieves satori and loses the will to fight.

>>11
``At least'', you think to yourself, ``I won't starve.''. Then you sadly eat another burrito.

After that, >>11-san went back to his trailer and stared at the giant rubber mace hanging on his wall. ``If it only weren't so heavy, I would beat the shit out of that hobo!''. The mace was called ``Java''.

Java is a burrito stuck on your windshield. A really greasy one at that, and hard to remove so you sort of let it be.

PHP is a glass dildo with a rubber duck duct taped to the end of it.