I need a quick rundown on Nikita

How did he enter Ukraine? Is he a political refugee because of that poor hamster he burnt alive?

I read Nikita's commentary on Erlang and it was all wrong.
Guy literally doesn't know what pattern matching is, or that 'true' is just an 'else' without sugar.
And in side-effect-free languages an if clause always has an else statement, but he goes and complains that his syntax errors won't compile.