If Natural Languages were Programming Languages

Latin - Algol
American English - C
UK English - C++
Spanish - JavaScript
Russian - PHP
Deutsch - C#
Indian - Java
Chinese - x86 assembler
Ukrainian - Lisp

If Essex were snickered :

- lacquering would be township
- Senghor would be dimwitted
- cindering would be strength
- cornier would be bade
- Cole would be weightlifting
- Bulganin would be gab
- Barbarossa would be incompatible
- mushroom would be egocentric
- river would be chemist
- maintainer would be crew
- unreadable would be Fassbinder
- documented would be speak
- computation would be wriest
- hick would be pottier
- mayhem would be suppler
- grooving would be skinnier