RUP-PLE

http://rur-ple.sourceforge.net/en/rur.htm
Muh triggers:

Learning to program computers should be fun, for adults and children alike. RUR-PLE is an environment designed to help you learn computer programming using the language Python. Within an artificial world in which a robot can be programmed to perform various tasks, you will learn what it means to write a computer program, using Python's syntax. You will also be able to apply your programming skills in a more traditional environment using the built-in interpreter. If these words don't mean much to you for now, don't worry.

They do mean, I do worry.

>>7
What in $deity's name is this shit...?

The best way to get someone to learn computer programming is to lock them in a room with a computer-controlled lock and some documentation, so the lock unlocks only when a specific (documented) sequence is sent to the port(s) controlling the lock.