4th annual /frog/ slam poetry conference

let's hear it boys

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies

that are made for guys like me.


All the porn I've come across

was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males

Men who like their women stupid and submissive

Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos

with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected

liposuctioned women

Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation

in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.


These aren't real women. They're objects.

And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.

These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.

They disgust me.

And it's not that I'm against pornography.

I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.

Fact.

"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"

Guys need porn.


But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.

I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:

Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world

is a woman who is smarter than you are.


You can have the whole cheerleading squad,

I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:

Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.

Oh yes.

First I want to copy her Trig homework,

and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her

for hours and hours

until she reluctantly asks if we can stop

because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.

Summa cum laude, baby!

That is what I call erotic.


But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?

No.

Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.

I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.

And the women in my porno movies will be the kind

that drive nerds like me mad with desire.


I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.

The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.

Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.

Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses

and chips on their shoulders.


My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.

My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.


In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.

They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and

beat them repeatedly at chess

and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle

or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.


Buy stock in some hand cream companies

because there is about to be a major shortage.


And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.

There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren

of all sexual orientations.

Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."


This idea is a fucking gold mine.

I am gonna make millions,

because this country is full of database programmers

and electronics engineers

and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.

And you can help . . .


If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,

and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,

then you are hired.


It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.

It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.

You are beautiful. . .

And I will make you a star.

what?

>>2
nice

bittersweet endings are the worst
by anon

it's really hard to be honest sometimes
the words inside don't want to come out
what if you don't feel the same way?
don't want to be hurt again

want to snuggle up and hold you
feel like i'm not alone in the world
become one again like we used to
afraid to tell you how i feel

time stops and we concentrate on the now
tell me that everything will be okay
forget about all our troubles
at least for the rest of the day

sometimes i wish i could forget you
stop dwelling on what once was
but other times i think we were meant to
live the rest of our lives together

i want to feel your warm embrace
i want to feel alive and wanted
i want to be the one who puts a smile on your face
i can't bare to be alone

meeting new people just isn't the same
why did it end up like this?
i compare them all to you
i remember your shape and the way we'd kiss

when our lips would meet
and we'd make love
i thought no one could defeat
us or what we had

do you still think about me sometimes?
have you already moved on?
it's all over now
the times we had are already gone

>>2
Nice try fag but I'm barely even butthurt by your post.

illuminated by a blanket of ambient light
all is well in the world tonight
tantric motions and a breathy tone
lets me know I'm not alone

the only one I give my absolute trust
closer now with every thrust
radiant energy pulses through me
burning body melting with ecstasy

fluttering hearts and perspiration
minutes become hours with time dilation
communicate with touch and steady rhythm
infinitely better than onanism

finish inside while we lock hands
I've solidified that I'm her man
I can speak the language of her body
learned her shape while we are naughty

leaking lungs and a fogged up window
times resumes in the afterglow
I'm the only one who knows about her soft snoring
looking forward to waking up next to her in the morning

I got nobody
I am nobody
soul is muddy
think it's funny
alone around my "friends"
when will it ever end?
forlorn and forgotten
core turned rotten
abandoned in my darkest hour
people wonder why I've turned sour
superficial social interactions
leave me without satisfaction
alone in a crowd
smoke some loud
"we should hang out again some time"
but we both know they're lyin'
feeling trapped and walled in
tomorrow gonna call in
take a sick day to lay in bed
feel sorry for myself and wish I was dead
can't connect, can't relate
dying alone and unhappy is my fate
no one asks "are you ok?"
no one asks "how was your day?"
reflect on fleeting memories
emotional agonies
longing for times that once were
sometimes I still think about her
no one to come home to
I still sorta want you
feeling broken and hollow
hope it will get better tomorrow

>>8
bretty good 7/10 would read aloud to a room of hipsters

each line in the poem is 4 beats
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2lATGgQKaM

wanna blow my brains out
never ever had no clout
completely given up on life
slit my wrists with a kitchen knife
drowning in anxiety
don't know what is wrong with me
don't know much but one thing's certain
everyone knows I'm an unperson

perpetually sad and alone
laying in bed lookin' at my phone
should be workin on my resume
but I don't want to live today
too pussy to kill myself
so I'll grab a bottle from the shelf
drown my sorrows in alcohol
classes startin' soon for the fall

another semester of disappointment
my left hand needs some burn ointment
burned my thumb when I lit a bowl
getting a better job is my goal
got stuff to do but I waste these days
getting fucked up and smoking haze
I cry myself to sleep at night
but tell everyone that I'm alright

all my friends are lame as fuck
wanna change things but feeling stuck
wanna be loved, but broken socially
not sure why my ex ever dated me
getting older and the clock is tickin'
fewer options for who to put my dick in
afraid of growing old with no partner
but my fate keeps looking darker

(don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything, it's just edgy venting)