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Cooking thread

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-16 15:05

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-16 16:15

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-16 19:43

>>2

`ω´ WING DONG CHONG PU PU PLATTER

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 1:08

Here' my original breadmaker recipe for making bread:

3 and 1 quarter cups of flower
1 and 1 quarter cups water
1 and 1 quarter cups grated cheese
1 half cups fried diced onion
one diced tomato (in cup)
2 and a half tea spoons yeast
1 table spoons butter
1 and 1 half table spoons sugar
1 and 1 half tea spoons salt

Add the ingredients in the order specified, set to dark crust, and wait.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 3:41

Here' my russian meatmaker recipe for making meat:
three guys and one hammer

sup from Donbass and Lugansk! death to ukrainian pigs!

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 4:37

I invented a dish I like to call "L'carné servi au broyé", which I suspect to mean "meat served ground", if my knowledge of the most useless language on earth hasn't decayed since high school. It's made by putting ground beef in a pot, putting in some fresh garlic, onions, mushrooms, pepper, salt, and french onion soup mix in it. Turn the stove to the hottest setting, and put the pan on it. Keep stirring until the meat is completely cooked and you should have hundreds of little chunks of meat left over. There should be a bit of grease, so drain that into a pot an set aside for now. Fill the grease pot up with water, about half way that is, not to the rim unless you like getting burned. Put it on the stove and wait until it starts to boil. When it's boiling, dump in some long noodles, keep stirring. Periodically get a fork and fish out a noodle. Taste it to see if it's done. When it is, take the pot off the stove and strain the pasta out with a colander or sieve. I don't know what the difference is honestly, so either will work. Next, get out some tomatoes, as many as you like. Use a tenderizing hammer to pound those niggers like they stole your bike. When they are significantly pulverized, put them in a sauce pot, or a regular pot will do I suppose, add a little water, some basil, garlic, thyme, oregano, and parsley. If you want to put semen in the dish, then this is the time to add it. Heat it up and let it simmer for a while. Five minutes isn't enough, but an hour is too long, so you'll have to stand there and stir it. When that's done, pour it into the pan you cooked the meat in. Since that is now cold, put it on the stove again and heat it up. Put some of your noodles on a plate and serve with the meat and sauce on top. Enjoy!

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 10:43

>>6
I love lasagna.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 18:22

>>4
Does it matter what type of flower you use?

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-18 10:45

>>8
Oh sorry, I did not realize that the recipe did not specify a type of flower thereby clearly indicating that it didn't matter. Oh but wait, it did.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-18 17:25

Miso and Honey Roast Aborigines

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-18 18:52

>>10
Check 'em

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-18 19:11

>>9
Okay, thank you for your clarification on this subject. I will use dead horse lily.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 9:52

>>9
Just say if it is self-rising or all purpose, you silly, silly girl.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 10:02

>>13
To be fear, you DON'T MAKE FUCKING BREAD WITH SELF-RAISING YOU FUCKING IMBECILE. So it does seem strange that anybody would be confused.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 10:32

>>14
Yes you do, just omit the yeast and baking powder, you dumb ape.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 10:34

dead horse lily looks more like a vagina suffering from engorgement of the clitoris than it does a horse. What's up with the name?

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 10:39

>>15
It is interesting, however, that the recipe did indeed call for yeast. It is almost as though even a halfwit would manage to refrain from being confused after digesting that information.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 10:41

Big Meaty Vaginas.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 10:42

Big Yeasty Vaginas.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 10:43

>>17
Maybe you made it with double yeast. We don't know unless you say.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 10:49

>>20
Double yeast????! Barf.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 11:06

>>16
It describes the bouquet (pun intended).

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 11:50

>>22
I don't get it?

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 12:27

>>23
Of course you don't, unsophisticated Anglo Saxon pig farmer.

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