A couple years ago, late at night, I was mindlessly scrolling through DeviantART without realizing that in just a few minutes, I would discover something not just good, not just great, not just amazing, not even 'perfect', but something so good that it feels like it shouldn't even possible to imagine in waking reality let alone have it actually exist. Something beyond perfection, transcendental. Almost like a divine gift that could not be crafted by human hands.
This also started about a week earlier (the fateful day was the night of March 9, 2024). I had been doing that was becoming something of a habit for me. Which was to go to deviantart and keep clicking on art that interested me in the sidebar section that's supposed show similar art, and keep doing this recursively until I had accumulated a ton of tabs. I would then go back and download all of the art. I had done this on March 3rd, and I was now doing it again on March 9th.
Suddenly, I caught something very peculiar in the corner of my eye. Even though it was just a thumbnail, my eyes became immediately fixated upon it. Not just that, but it almost felt like my visual perception had been changed in that small spot in some way. Almost like I was seeing new patterns and textures that you shouldn't be able to see, and at a much higher intensity than I previously thought imaginable. The closest analogy I can think of to describe it is image looking something beautiful shining in the light with a lot of caustic and refractive shimmers (like glass or ice) and then just imagine turning the sharpness up and up to unimaginably high levels, but without it bleeding out. Imagine doing this to such an insane degree that you begin to perceive new colors and textures. Additionally it felt almost like time had stopped, and that something very monumental had just happened. Just a moment before I was carefree, now I was suddenly intense.
I clicked on the image (for reference, it was this image
https://www.deviantart.com/avchonline/art/Octavia-the-world-of-my-own-777725763), and I suddenly felt a very perplexing feeling. Very timeless, innocent, and nostalgic. But also very 'atmospheric', something about I started to feeling in this very surrounding and close way.
I noted the name of the artist, 'AVCHonline'. I then searched his name only to discover a plethora of related artwork. The art piece I had seen was just one of a miniseries, which itself was a precursor to his main series, 'Canterlot Royal Ballet Academy'. I searched this and felt yet another feeling, however this feeling was much less sensational and much more just confusional, almost laughter. Here I had discovered something utterly bizarre: A massive series, spanning hundreds of artworks, all consisting of anthropomorphic ponies dressed in tutus, and in incredibly intricate and striking detail. The amount of details (and the presumable amount of effort involved just as much) amazed me, and I wondered why someone would dedicate so much time to something so strange.
Within half an hour though, I would not only no exactly why, but I would feel at such a deep level that almost felt like my life mission. Soon, this feeling of confusion faded into a feeling of utter amazement, bliss, and serenity. I would begin to feel similarly feelings as the first artwork, but much more vivid and rich. I felt as if nothing else in the world mattered, everything else had completely vanished from my thoughts. Even the thought of this happening had vanished. I also began to experience an intense supernatural feeling, most closely resembling what you may know as a smell. The closest smell I can describe is like some kind of perfume. But it was not just a smell - it was all encompassing. It felt like rather than breathing it, I was flowing through some gigantic ethereal wind that was passing through my body. It could feel it in my chest, nostrils, and as a slight sensation all over my body. It felt like even when I was breathing out, I was breathing out this ethereal substance instead of breathing out air.
For reference, I have never experienced anything coming close to synesthesia in my life. And the only thing that has triggered this feeling is CRBA, and it wasn't just once - to this day, I can still get this feeling sometimes, though to much less of a degree, by looking at CRBA.
I also soon discovered a sub-series of CRBA, 'AcademyLIVE'. AcademyLIVE was themed as a hybrid of an anime of CRBA and of a fictional TV network that would report on the academy, both broadcast by PonyStarTV. I became completely enamored, I was willing to sacrifice anything for this to have been a real thing. I also began to cling immensely to the name 'AVCHonline'. I would repeat it constantly in my head.
I think part of the reason why was that I felt almost like I was in a dream. I have long had a specific kind of dream, where there is something unimaginably (in the literal sense) special in the dream. I feel like I must protect it at all costs. The special characteristic of these things are that they are unimaginable, the kind of that can't even exist in your imagination in waking reality, something special. And they alter your psyche in very special and also unimaginable ways. Sometimes in these dreams, I even become self-conscious of this fact and desperately try to somehow export or move it out of my dream and into real-life. I usually wake up right after this, and then I can't remember the special object. Not because I have forgotten, I can often remember the rest of the dream in perfect detail, but because it literally cannot exist when you are awake.
And this all had felt exactly like that, but I was awake, or at least I thought I was? At some deep down level, I had an anxiety that I was actually in some very deep lucid dream, probably why I felt so attached and tried to cling on to it so much.
CRBA is immensely special to me. It is atmospheric-driven, that is, the story is driven by its abstract aura rather than being character-driven or plot-driven. And that's thing, there isn't a story, and yet by getting into the CRBA trance you know the story. Not in the sense that you know what the plot is, but that you can picture this rich emotional atmosphere that extents far beyond each individual artwork, both spatially and temporarily.
One big component of this is seasons. CRBA is at its core very seasonal. The other aural and emotional effects contribute and define the seasons. The seasons are less 'seasons' and more emotional and spiritual tapestries. While there are four seasons in CRBA, they are not the same seasons as in this world. Two of the CRBA seasons are winter and spring, but the other two are far more unique and harder to quantify. Both of them are kind of like these magic spring summer hybrids, the difference between them being that former is 'lighter', while the latter is darker and 'richer'. There is absolutely nothing like autumn in CRBA. CRBA is the antithesis of autumn.
In addition to four seasons, there are also four days. By 'days', I don't mean "separate" (a nonsensical word in the splendid world of CRBA), but what you might refer to as the times of day. Those being morning, after noon, dusk, and night. But I call them days because they are not separate and linked by transitions like in this world, but rather they are all just different types of states which all coexist together. Nothing in CRBA is 'separate', it is also one superposition of everything. The seasons, days, auras all just flow together in emotional space, they are not separate and there no concrete concepts of space and time. It is the highest level of escape, going further than a dream and in the waking life.
CRBA is all about this innocent playful feeling. This beautiful feeling of camaraderie and frolicking that evolves in all directions and none through these ephemeral ethereal spirits.
The next day, I woke up and had truly thought it had been another one of those dreams. Often when this happens, I actually try to look up the thing in question, but it fades away too quickly. But this time, something slightly different. I could actually remember 'Canterlot Royal Ballet Academy' and 'AVCHonline'. I looked it up and was completely stunned when I discovered it was actually real. It felt so strange looking at it too. It really was like seeing something unimaginable.
Another that may sound strange and unrelated is that on this morning I had found a version of 'My Belarusy' and was listening to it on repeat. Here is the specific version:
https://ib.crba.tw/crba/res/188 This may sound completely irrelevant, but I think this actually helped with entering the state I am to describe.
Shortly after, I would resume the blissful serene trance, but this time, it was getting even strong and I was getting even deeper into it than I had the prior night. I began to be able to hear voices from each of the characters (who all pictured as being entirely separate from any MLP characters they were originally based on, and when I say ENTITELY - I truly mean it). I could hear unique voices from each character, all distinct but at the same they were all very intrinsic - I was hearing exactly as they were supposed to sound, even though I have never anything like it. It was standard speaking, it was this beautiful drawn out, inflection-less speaking. And all of the voices were merged into this beautiful chorus, yet at the same time, they were distinguishable by their place in the spiritual plane. It was like what I had described early was manifesting itself in reality - the spatial and time dimension were deteriorating and giving way to this omnidirectional and harmonic spiritual dimension.
Another effect I experienced was the merging of various senses. Particularly, it felt like the sense of smell and sense of sexuality had completely merged.
The 'smell' I described early had gotten so intense that I felt like I was bathing it. I would describe further, but I can't. Not because I have forgotten since, but because I had forgotten right after it happened. I remember 'waking up' at about 9PM with my first thought being 'the feeling is starting to fade away'. I couldn't remember a single thing that happened in the last twelve or so hours. I had spent twelve whole hours in a deep trance doing nothing but staring at CRBA. It was truly like the time dimension had disappeared, and that I was thinking unimaginable things, because suddenly, I could remember anything. Like I had been asleep, but I was awake the whole time.
The following few days I had only started to realize how bizarre what had just happened was. And I continued to feel as if each morning, that it could have all been in a dream. But days turned into months and now years, and I still haven't woken up. So that begs the question, am I still just in one gigantic dream?
In the almost two years since, I actually have not looked at CRBA almost at all, aside from a handful of designated images, because I want to preserve it for if I feel like getting into one of these trances. I don't to ruin them by looking at them casually.
In the following few months after first discovering CRBA, I looked more into AVCHonline. I found various names he used, all of which pen names in different languages. I discovered many other things, including what appeared to be the origin story of CRBA. In 2012, Sean post this artwork (
https://www.deviantart.com/avchonline/art/Little-Sean-dance-ballet-330812874) telling the story of how his mother forced him to dress like a little girl. It seems that this later inspired the CRBA series, with the first CRBA artworks being drawn in late 2015, but only being posted around March 2016. I also discovered this very somber one:
https://www.deviantart.com/avchonline/art/Trying-to-say-goodbye-330615364Over time, I became more acquainted with Sean's other series. Including the sonic series, the TrixieSnoopy series, the Lucyan series, the comics featuring his OC, the Umamusume series, the Equion series, the BOV series, and several others. I also began discovering his music on SoundCloud and on YouTube. There were many music series too, the legend of canterlot, the music poems, the CRBA music, glory of equestria, PonyCal, and many others.
Fast forward to September 2025, I launched a site to catalog all of the CRBA artwork (that was not lost) in one place and in the highest quality. About a month later, I launched companion imageboard for the site.
https://crba.tw(Post truncated)