Blow me you faggots, I just had sex

In a VAGINA too! You dipshit retard homos said it couldn't be done, but I did it. Squirted half a ejaculate right up that cunt's cunt. Only took me twenty seconds, probably a world fucking record (I'll take my medal now, Guinness).

Okay, I'll acknowledge your superiority if and only if you can confirm a few things.
1 - The girl was not a child.
2 - The girl was not raped.
3 - The girl was not retarded.
4 - The girl was not an animal.
5 - The girl was not dead.