I am offering 100 dollarydoos to anyone that...

... can give me a reasonable way to eliminate everyone under the age of 34 unless they are a hot female and also eliminate anybody over 50 years of age unless I like them. If your solution is not only reasonable but one that can be completed in a fast and timely manner then I'm willing to bump up the reward to 110 dollarydoos. This is an urgent matter that needs to be resolved ASAP so don't dilly dally.

Solution: kill yourself.
You're immature enough to be under 34.
You're demented enough to be over 50.
And I'm dead sure you're not a female.

Donate $110 to your mom.
She is ashamed her son is such a loser.