My family wants me to be gay

They're so far down the SJW rabbit hole that they don't want me to be straight. They want to say I'm gay so they can brag to their friends about how progressive and accepting they are. I am dead serious.

I had this growing up. Extremely chauvanistic rap music helped me break out of it. They couldn't criticize it without being "racist" and it felt empowering like I had discovered cheat codes to gaming my family life. I became a closet wigger which got me laid and kept my parents off my ass.