Name: Anonymous 2016-06-25 20:40
Are you tired of flying with conventional international carriers where sometimes the flights cannot start because the vehicles are unsuitable to American people? Frustrated by narrow passenger seats made with outdated un-American standards in mind? Aggravated by tiny low-cholesterol meals offered in flight? Then Amerifat Airlines are just what you need when flying worldwide!
We use exclusively revamped military transport aircraft that can handle the American physiques. Whether you weigh 200 or 300 or 400 pounds, our birds will lift off just fine! All planes are equipped with compensating engines and will prevent tilt even if all Americans sit on one side of the aircraft.
Our meals are fully American-sized, which means a handful of 2-foot pizzas, 10 pounds of tacos brimming with cheese and of course 5 gallons of pipecleaner-grade Coca-Cola! Add to that bucket of lasagna and some Good Ole' Cancer popato chips, and you'll never lose a gram of Body weight on our flights.
Speaking of entertainment, we've got all the thriller movies, superhero blockbusters and fart comedies released over the past 3 days. And for those of you with discerning taste, we offer high-intellect video broadcasts like the Superbowl and boxing matches where you can stare for hours while brown-skinned people hammer each others' brains out.
Oh, and did I mention we have American-size passenger seats with 3 feet of with and an optional warehouse-grade truck to haul your Body straight to your seat? You will not have to walk or roll a single step! Save your precious calories, y'know!
Be American. Fly Amerifat. We're the only ones who are commited to hauling your holy Ass from wherever to that other place any day!
We use exclusively revamped military transport aircraft that can handle the American physiques. Whether you weigh 200 or 300 or 400 pounds, our birds will lift off just fine! All planes are equipped with compensating engines and will prevent tilt even if all Americans sit on one side of the aircraft.
Our meals are fully American-sized, which means a handful of 2-foot pizzas, 10 pounds of tacos brimming with cheese and of course 5 gallons of pipecleaner-grade Coca-Cola! Add to that bucket of lasagna and some Good Ole' Cancer popato chips, and you'll never lose a gram of Body weight on our flights.
Speaking of entertainment, we've got all the thriller movies, superhero blockbusters and fart comedies released over the past 3 days. And for those of you with discerning taste, we offer high-intellect video broadcasts like the Superbowl and boxing matches where you can stare for hours while brown-skinned people hammer each others' brains out.
Oh, and did I mention we have American-size passenger seats with 3 feet of with and an optional warehouse-grade truck to haul your Body straight to your seat? You will not have to walk or roll a single step! Save your precious calories, y'know!
Be American. Fly Amerifat. We're the only ones who are commited to hauling your holy Ass from wherever to that other place any day!